Continuation of what's been happening

Remember Sara finally finding a school she likes and has been going ever since?

Well, that didn't last very long. Apparently, the "teacher's place" is too much of a playschool for her. I want to learn how to read, she says. Pfft.

I utilized my three months maternity leave to find a suitable place for her and we found a nice school in Dengkil (suggested by a dear friend)

I accompanied her for the first one week. I even sat in her class for the whole day and only left when it was time to pump my milk.

It got better the following week, I guess she was ready and she really like the fact that the school is a proper school, a place to learn, not play. Haha.

So, all was well and life is good. Sara's been going steadily to school, Dina was doing really okay at home, Addeen was a bit challenging but manageable. Until.

Until my stupid bibik decided to ran away. She has stayed with us for more than a year, she has been really good with the children, she was a godsend. Ppffttt.

Previously I felt no qualms leaving my children at home with my parents because I know there's an extra set of hands readily available to do all the housekeeping. My parents can just concentrate on the kids. Now that bibik's gone, I'm finding it very hard to keep up with my work and managing the house chores.

Again, don't get me wrong, I am eternally grateful that I live with my parents and I don't have to be worried about my children when I go to work. I came home everyday to freshly delicious home-cooked meal. But, it is impossible to be a supermom that my mom wishes me to be. 

I make do with what I have though, no matter how tired I was, I made sure I do all the laundry related things (wash, hang, fold) everyday and I try to make sure I clean the kitchen everyday. Its just that sometimes especially when I am too tired, I missed on doing certain things and my mom would get so frustrated with me, I will feel incompetent and basically all the negative things will start to happen.

I am okay with messy places (see my desk, my room). Seriously, I can live in messy environment. Not dirty, but messy. My mom can't.

I am okay with not doing all the house chores if it meant I get to relax and spend time with the kids. I know the clothes wont fold themselves, the dishes wont wash themselves but if by doing all the chores makes me tired and grumpy, I might as well postpone doing it, right?

Wow, this post is turning into something rather personal. So, I'm gonna stop here. Till next time.