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Monday, May 31, 2010

Sara and Baba!

What happens when you leave a toddler/baby with ONLY the daddy for one whole day?

Not-brushing-my teeth

Unbutton clothesMess EVERYWHEREMismatched clothes and unruly hair

In hubby's defense,

"She didn't want to brush her teeth" She ALWAYS does that, you have to coax her
"She cried when I comb her hair" Yeah, right
"She chose her clothes HERSELF" Are you trying to mock me now or what?
"She's clingy, I can't let go of her to tidy up the room" Really??

And people wonder why mommies are better than daddies. Ha!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Happy Teacher's Day

Some friends from the office ordered cupcakes and cake for teacher's day. While making the cupcakes, I can't help but to reminisce about my teachers. To me, teachers play an integral part on shaping me to be who I am right now.

I still remember how it was in my days, where all the teachers use to be so passionate about what they do, and how the parents would support the teachers rather than to blame them for their child misbehaving.

Time changes, and changes bring good and bad impact in life. For instance, teachers nowadays (especially primary school teachers) are those from KPLI rather than those who took teaching as their degree. If the said person is wholeheartedly invested in teaching, then its a good thing BUT if that person is only teaching as a means to living, it will greatly affect the quality of education.

I have a very high respect for teachers as I think that being a teacher is like being a mom. Its a 24-hours job that requires constant attention and focus. On top of that, it also requires a lot of determination and perseverance.

I think that teaching is better left to people that are truly interested to teach (not just anybody with any kind of degree). My teachers made me who I am today, and I think I turned up pretty good. I just hope that my child will be able to experience education as I did. Happy Teacher's Day!!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Thomas Cup Fiasco

So, this may be a bit behind, but I feel the need to express my feelings regarding the Malaysia's quest for the coveted Thomas Cup. I watched the Thomas Cup during my long outstation, so I didn't get to watch it with hubby and family but I can almost hear them in my head.

You see, I am trying very hard not to swear since I found out that I was pregnant but watching the Malaysian team played, I was having a very difficult time keeping my mouth from saying all the bad words. I can be... err, shall we say quite vehemently "outspoken" when it comes to watching sports. I was literally throwing swears to the television. Heh.

Yeah, we lost. But you know who I blame?? I BLAME HAFIZ. If he won against whats-his-name (the Japanese dude), we would have met Indonesia, and we could have won. Okay, so maybe we would have lost to China in the finals, but at least we'd get to the finals.
Gahhh!!! I'm blaming Hafiz. It's all on you, man. You seriously blew it.

Pic from here

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The worst feeling ever.

I still have this lingering feeling of depression, anxiety and lonely after I wrote about my previous post. So, when hubby texted me and said that Sara is having a high fever (39 degree!), I was instantly worried and now I feel like flying home!!!

I miss her sooooo much and to know that she is sick and I'm not there beside her is killing me. I hate long outstation!!! I really hope that I can finish my job earlier than expected and I can go home early.

To whomever reading this entry, please pray for my little angel's speedy recovery. *sobs

The emotional Mother's Day..

This is the second time I got to celebrate Mother's Day but since I am away, so no special celebration or anything like that. Anyway, this year, I thought I'd jot down the kind of mum I'd like to be.

I'd like to be a mom like Lorelai (of Gilmore Girls). She's her daughter best friend, but still draws the line if needed to. But, I secretly think that I'm more of an uptight person, not to the extent of Bree (Desperate Housewives), but I do share some quality as hers.

What I really want to emulate is Bailey's (of Grey's Anatomy) style of parenting. She's focused on her job but still managed to provide full attention to her child.

One more resolution I have for this year, is to communicate better with my dear hubby. We do have our ups and downs, and I do take my share of the blame. I really, sincerely hope that we can communicate better, particularly in front of Sara because she's such a fast learner, I wouldn't want to set a bad example in front of her.

I know that this may be a wishful thinking, but I do want to be my daughter's best friend. I want her to be able to tell me anything. Even though I am pretty sure that I'll lose my temper A LOT, but I want to be the person she turned to, whenever she has problems.

I want to support her in every decision that she makes, I want to stop saying NO to every little request that she makes, I want to give her everything she wanted and beyond, I want to be so much and most importantly I want to be enough. For her.

I do sometimes wonder what if she likes another mommy figure more than me. Would I be okay with that? Would I resent the fact that somebody else is closer to my daughter than I am?

I want to be supportive but can I hold my temper when she does something wrong? Can I not yell at her when she fights with her siblings or cousins? Can I patiently answer her endless question?

Can I hold my breath and calm myself if she ever decided to throw tantrum in front of random people? Can I strain myself from resorting to hit her if she fights me back?

Can I be the mother she wanted? Can I provide all the love and care she need? Will my love be enough for her? Or would she want something more? More than me?

I guess my greatest fear of being a mom is that I will never be enough for her. I am afraid that she'll want more, more than what I am able to give. Gahh, this is emotional.

Being away from her especially on Mother's Day really hurts. Mummy misses you Sara, and Mummy can't wait to come back home.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Public speaking

People who knew me on the first glance will most likely say that public speaking is right up my alley. Oh, how I wish that was true. Sure, I've been a public speaker since my school days but those were not pure talent, those were hard work.

I can only talk in public if I have a preconceived speech. I am not one of those spur-of-the-moment talker. I memorized all my public speaking text. In fact, I'm such a good memorizer, people will think I spoke spontaneously.

So, recently, I had to give a talk about national security. Yep, as if that topic wasn't intimidating enough, I had to also explain the current issues, past histories and what not. Gahhh! I don't watch news. Current issue to me is what happens in the last episode of my favourite current television show.

But, you had to do what you had to do, right? And what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?? Pfftttt. Whatever. Yeah, from now on, I will watch news and keep track of current affairs. NOT! Okay, fine. I will. Some day. (And may that day come soon enough!)

Friday, May 7, 2010

The LOVE cuppies

This customer requested the cuppies to be decorated in red, purple and green colour and I remember thinking to myself, hmm, how can I make this colour combination work? This is the result and hope they'll like it.

This kind of cuppies made me sigh and think to myself "Ahhh, to be young and in love...."

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Pitter Patter Tea Party

On Sunday, Sara, my hubby and I went to the Pitter Patter Tea Party. I first stumbled upon the info here, and since its only RM10 per adult, I figured it would be a great opportunity to let my angel meet up and play with kids her age. And besides, we were planning to go along with my two wonderful friend; Mummy Allysha and Mama Idraki :)

Sara and I travelled to KL via KLIA Transit because hubby was already in KL, makes no sense for him to turn back in order to pick us up. This is actually the second time Sara and I board the train, and same as before, Sara fell asleep the moment the train moves.
Guess who we say in KL Sentral? Lisa Surihani!!! She was exactly as seen on TV, her skin is soooo smooth and porcelain-like, makes me seethe with jealousy.

The event was held in Carcosa Sri Negara, a perfect setting for an English Tea Afternoon. The place has a very classic English feel, complete with its lush landscapes and beautiful decorations, but I bet the organizer didn't expect the weather to be so hot and stuffy. And when you add screaming toddlers to that environment, it just resulted in total chaos.
They organized a separate room for the children and parents. We sent Sara to the children area, anticipating that she's going to cry when we left her. But, lo and behold, she immediately becomes absorbed in the environment, she even goes off to play BY HERSELF. She plays on the play dough station, read books and play lots of other toys. What amuses me was that everybody thought she was at least 2 years old. She answered every question they asked her with an emphatic nod or says "nanak" and waved her hand to say no, she sits and play when asked, she can immediately play correctly with the toys once you show her how, so everbody was very surprised when I told them Sara is only 15 months old.

There were three talk sessions, but I only managed to fully hear one of them. I was too anxious thinking about Sara in the other room. We did manage to join in the photoshoot for family and can't wait to see the result. Overall, the food was good, the talks were okay, the separate room for kids was a good idea, the only thing that deterred me from enjoying myself is the HOT, HUMID and STUFFY weather.

The most surprising thing I discovered through this event : My little angel is a big girl already *tears*

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Farewell cuppies

These cuppies were ordered to celebrate a farewell party. To me, farewell is such a sad thing. I mean, you got use to the person then having to find out that the person will be transferred to another department is just downright sad and depressing.

Recently, I had to say goodbye to a very dear colleague. She was in her confinement leave when she found out that she was transferred to another department. We weren't close from the get-go (when I was transferred to my current department), but as time goes by, we became closer. We discovered that even though we were quite different in terms of our approach towards certain aspect and problems at work, we do complement each other and we work VERY well together.

Slowly, our working relationship turned into personal relationship. We could share stories about almost everything. From husbands, families and when she discovered she was pregnant, we were both ecstatic. We can trade children stories! God knows how bored she is with me gushing about Sara every now and then.

She was with me throughout my pregnancy (and all the emotional hormonal outbursts every now and then). She took over most of my job, as I was so tired (read : lazy) to work. She helped me through so much and willingly listen to every child related story. I tried my best to repay all her favours when she was pregnant, and I missed her soo much during her confinement leave, consoling myself with the fact that she'll come back after 2-months leave.

So, when she told me that she received a letter saying she has been transferred to another agency, I was shocked and dissappointed. Don't know about her, but I'm certainly missing her. I can only hope that I've been there for her as much as she's been here for me. I can never thank her enough and I sincerely hope that we can continue our friendship even though we are no longer in the same deparment. Miss you babe, and hope for nothing but the best in all your future endeavours.

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