Sara goes to school....NOT!

So, I decided to send Sara to school, but as you can see from the title above, it is just not working. Heh.

Since we live in Sepang area, I have very limited choices in finding a school for her. Its either Smartreader (Dengkil), Qdees (Dengkil) and CIC (Salak Tinggi). After several discussions and site visit, we chose Smartreader for her. Everything seems to be working out great, the principal there is really nice, Sara likes her, and there's a mini slide (Sara's absolute favourite out of all playground items).

First day, 2nd January 2013. Hubby and me took the day off just to send her and wait for her at school. At night, she was all excited and when morning came, she was a bit moody at first because she had to wake up early. But she was still cheerful and let me braid her hair while she have her breakfast.

We sent her in, make sure she's okay. She asked me to "make friends", so I introduced her to another cute girl there and they seem to have hit it off. Her teacher was also chirpy, and Sara immediately followed her inside, and they seem to be getting along quite fine. In both instances, "seem" is the operative word.

Since she's inside her class and seem to be doing fine, we decided to go for breakfast at the nearby mamak shop. We went back there just to be informed that Sara is doing great. Yeay! We picked her up at 12.00pm, and she looks okay, not really chirpy and cheerful, but just okay. When asked about her day, she'd reply it was okay nonchalantly. Hmm, its not like her to be like this, I mean, she usually talk our ears off especially if its something she's interested in.

Second day, she cried when she woke up, saying she doesn't want to go to school. But, she gives in and I bathe her and send her to school. I ushered her into the main play area where everybody is playing and stayed out in the lobby. To my surprise, she came out crying, and won't let me leave her. So I told her, I'm right here in the lobby but I can't wait for her in her classroom. She wiped her tears and I sent her back to her classroom.

I went to work, and pick her up at 12.30pm. She came out crying, saying that she doesn't want to go to school anymore. My dad was there too, we made arrangement so that I can get back to work and my dad would bring Sara home. I stayed to talk with the teachers, and I asked them what went wrong. The teacher said that Sara looks very sad today, but she didn't cry out loud or throw any sort of tantrum. She'd just sit quietly and do her work, but when she finishes, her tears would drop silently. She even ate her biscuits with tears in her eyes. And I too, almost cried when the teacher told me about this.

My mom called later on, Sara slept on the sofa, and she was having daymares (not nightmares, as she was sleeping during daytime. Haha, lame joke. I know) She'd suddenly screamed "I don't wanna go to school!!!". My mom also told me that she have been crying non stop from the moment we picked her up until she fell asleep, exhausted.

We had a serious discussion that night, Sara and I. I asked her why and she kept repeating that "the school is not nice. The teacher is not nice". She was also a bit feverish, perhaps due to the amount of tears she expressed, so I decided that she doesn't have to go to school the next day. After numerous amount of persuasion, she finally agrees to go to school on Friday, without her uniforms, to explain to the teachers why she doesn't like the school. We had a heart-to-heart talk with all the teachers and principal, and lets just say that perhaps its just not meant to be.

Contrary to popular belief, no Sara is not the one in the red tudung, she's the one at the back, in front of the door. Hehe.

She had fever for almost a week, and cry whenever we mention school. I was also a complete mess that week. In my heart and in my mind, I could only think about her. I mean, I don't want to be such a give-in type of mother who just followed her child's every whim. But, on the other hand, I also don't want to be the type of mother who doesn't care of her children's opinion. I know she's only 4, but if she really doesn't like the school, then I could not force her to go, right?

And, she's telling me her point of view nicely and politely, I couldn't very well ignore that and just push her to go to the place she genuinely dislike, right?

Oy, the predicaments of being a mother. And that's just sending her to pre-school. I can't imagine what I'll be like when it comes to bigger issue. Haha!