Breastfeeding - The Ugly Truth (Part Deux)

Remember this post?

The update? Sadly to say, things are pretty much the same. Except the bleeding crack is almost healed, but the pain during breastfeeding is still there.

Since getting back to work, I managed to pump about 10-12 ounce everyday, plus another 5-6 ounce that I pumped in the wee hours before going to work, so that totaled up to almost 18 ounce per day which is more than enough for my little baby during daytime. I can't seem to pump more than 10 mins, it would get to painful, so I have to use Marmet technique (hand express) to really empty the breast.

I have about 200 ounce of expressed breast milk stored, so I am not really worried about stocking up. I've given up on wearing normal bra, as I would suffer from blocked ducts EVERYTIME. And the blocked ducts will lead to milk blisters, and will worsen the condition of the nipple.

I'm also beginning to understand my baby better now, and I don't breastfeed her when she doesn't want to nurse. You know how the situation is, every time the baby is crying, people around you will most probably said that the baby is hungry and wants to nurse. Well, not my baby. Sometimes she just wants to be cuddled and just wants attention.

Since last month, my baby has developed a great sleeping pattern. I can bring her to our room as early as 8pm, breastfeed her and she'll only wake up twice (1-2am and 4-5am) to nurse again. She'll wake up around 7am, just nice for me to bring her downstairs and get ready for work.

I'm somewhat blessed because despite the pain during breastfeeding, my baby doesn't really like to do the comfort sucking, she just gets whatever she wants and let go. :)

People have been asking me, how long do I plan to continue breastfeeding my baby with all this pain? I really don't know. I guess as long as she wants it, and as long as I can handle the pain without resorting to painkillers to lessen the pain :)

Review on FPP Putrajaya Hospital

I'm trying my best to be neutral here. However, this review is based on my experience and my humble opinion only.

I have really high hopes upon checking in at the hospital. I dreamt of a single room where hubby and me could spend hours admiring our newborn baby and visitors can come and go as they please.

Well, that did not happen. First of all, the single room were not available anymore. I had to share a room with another patient (luckily, she's a wonderful roommate) BUT, I had to pay the normal room fee which is RM300 per night. I was pissed, but thank god this happen while I was still pregnant, so I took a deep breath, don't want to put too much stress on myself and just said okay.

The room was exactly like the normal ward, except that it was carpeted instead of the usual tiles. There was not much space and it felt stuffy at times. And, visitors still have to abide by the visiting hours which is 12.00pm to 2pm and 4pm to 8pm.

As for the service, it was great. The nurses were great and Dr Hamidah was a dream doctor. I'm really amazed by her stamina and energy because she had like 11 cases per day, and to top that off, she had been on-call since the day before. For a tiny little person that she is, she sure can carry a lot of responsibility.

Dr Hamidah explained every procedure to me. That is one more noticeable difference between the normal public service (which I experience giving birth to Sara) and this FPP thingy.

One more large difference is that, normal public service requires the patient to go to a special common room for any procedure (yes, including the painful dilation checking). Well, for FPP, you don't even have to move. The nurses and doctors will come to you :)

Upon checking out, I estimated my bill would be less than 2k, as I didn't require any extra procedure (no epidural, no vacuum etc..). BUT, my bill amounted to RM2,054.20. The two things that I was most dissatisfied was the charge on "consultation fee (after-office hours)" RM360 and "obstetrical procedures spontaneous vertex" RM600. I mean, I was in the ward for two days; why do you have to visit me outside of the normal office hours and charge that to my account? And, I was already charged on the labour room, ward, lab, medicines and consultation, surely the procedure of giving birth itself is already covered right?

My roommate, who had a c-sect, had a bill of RM3,500 which I think was a very reasonable price for the procedure. But, whatever it is, I think the service was well worth it and I'd recommend FPP for those who wanted to deliver in public hospital. And it does state on the bill that the charge is not final, so I guess I could have argued about the charged if I wanted to, which I don't.

Sara is THREE!!

My little angel turned three last January. And only now I had the time to properly update on her. She is such a joy to be with, simply because she is such a chatterbox, and the things she said, the stories she tells, is very engaging. She has a very high imagination, and she loves to pretend talk on her imaginary handphone (she has two of those, black and pink) with her imaginary friends (Aurora, Jasmine or Ariel - yes, the Disney princesses)

She also has her moments that makes me want to rip her my hair off. Sometimes, she refuses to bathe in the evening, or hit me/my mum for no reason, or talk rudely to us, or the most annoying of all, pooped in her pants. Oy! I've had enough of her antics one time, and I said that I'd lock her outside the house if she pooped in her pants again. Do you know what she said?

"Nevermind. Sara not scared. Actually can poo-poo in the pants" Oh, really? Grrrrr.....

I left her outside and locked the grill door, and she cried her heart out. Hehe...I let her cry for about two minutes then I brought her in, put her on the toilet, and leave her to do her "big business". Heh. While I was washing her and put her clothes back on, I told her the reason I was mad, and that she shouldn't do that (pooped in her pants) anymore. She tearfully agree.

Once, she refuses to bathe, I scolded her, and I end up crying with her in the bathroom. In my defense, I was really tired that time and my emotions took the best of me ;p Both of us cried, said our sorries and hugged for the longest time...hehe...

We had sooo much fun during my long maternity leave (3 months plus) and she even said "Mummy, I love you very much when you take leave from work for so long" I asked whether she'd still love me when I return to work and she kept quiet. So, I had to explain to her that I will still play with her, go out with her but I need to go to work to pay for the house, car and other bills. She doesn't quite understand, so I told her I need to go to work to get money to buy her chocolate and that, she does comprehend ;)

Physically, she does NOT look like a three year old. She looked at least 5yo and she can even wear 7-8yo clothing. She weighs 22kgs and 105cm tall. Oh, she also refuses to cut her hair and she doesn't want to wear certain clothes (collared shirt) because she said it make her look like a boy.

I haven't sent her to any school or nursery because she repeatedly told me she doesn't want to go to school. Besides, she's just three :) But, she already knows all alphabets (capital letter and small letter) and can write from A to I, R, T, N, O, P (capital letter only).

She loves to read out loud any letters that we encounter. She seems interested in spelling and she always try to spell things (TRY is the operative word here). Because, when she saw me wearing a t-shirt that says "ASTRO", she'd go "Mummy...A...S...T...R...O....T-shirt?" Haha, no my dear, not t-shirt.

Or, she'd go "P...R....E...M...I...E...R.....tissue?" (the brand of our tissue is PREMIER).
Or, "T....E....N....biscuit?" (my dad bought her Ten10 biscuits)
Never fails to make us laugh, that kid ;)

She's not scared of strangers anymore, and can really converse with people (as long as you talk in English with her, she doesn't speak much Malay but she understands it). Sometimes, she'd say "Mummy, today I want to talk in Malay" and I'd say ok. It's sooo funny watching her try to talk in Malay because she'd go:

"Mummy, mari kita...umm..ummm...apa tu...apa tu..."
"Tell me what you want to say in English and I'll tell you the word in Malay"
"Find"
"Oh, cari"
"Ok, Mummy mari kita cari the toys"
"Toys is mainan in Malay"
"Ok, mari kita cari mainan Sara"

The funniest thing ever is when we agreed to talk in Malay during dinner time, and then I asked her to read doa makan (she knows how to recite doa makan since 2yo), so I was really surprised when she just kept still and quiet. "Sara, recite doa makan. You know how to recite doa makan kan?" And do you know what she replies? "But I don't know how to recite doa makan in Malay" Hahahaha...


She loves her sister very much. She does get jealous from time to time but she'd never hurt her sister and she was always so gentle with her. Sometimes, I caught her saying really random things to her sister "Dina, when you grow up, we don't cut our hair ok? We must keep our hair long, like Ciksu and Cikngah. Don't cut your hair short like Mummy ok?" *__*

And, she loves to imitate Dina (yup, the elder daughter loves to imitate the younger daughter). Once, she came beside me and said "Mummy, come lie down beside Sara. I want to tell story to you" I happily agree and what she did was "rrrrrr....brrrrr....brrrr..." (you know the sound that baby makes when they are cooing and babbling?) Yup, she's imitating her sister.

Or, she would suddenly go on all fours, crawling to me and doing the baby sound. She even asked to drink my milk because "Dina said it tasted like chocolate". She asked me to put the milk that I pumped into a cup, because she wanted to taste it. Hehe.

My dear Sara, you never fail to amaze me with the things you said and discover, and even though sometimes I got really tired answering your endless questions, please know that I am forever thankful you chose to voice them out, rather than keeping it all in. The last three months is really special because I get to spent each waking moments with you, and we have become friends, instead of just mother and daughter. Love you, kiddo!