Sara : Day 1 to 10

Me and hubby is the eldest in both sets of our family. So, that makes Sara the first grandchild of both families. Until Sara was born, I never thought that both grandparents would be this overjoyed especially hubby’s parents. I mean, they never seem to care so much about me when I was pregnant, nor did they seem overjoyed by the fact that I am pregnant. But, I guess seeing Sara for the first time as a living person changed everything for them. They were both ecstatic and fell in love with her from the first look. Everybody was gushing, oohing and aahing over her like she was the most prefect little baby in the world. Which she was.:)

Me and Sara spent Night 1 at the hospital by ourselves. She was the best-behaved baby in the ward. Now and then, I could hear babies crying all night long. But my little angel is content with her sleep. She woke up twice for breastfeeding and once when she poo in her diapers. I had to go to the toilet for quite a while but Sara is very understanding and doesn’t make a peep.

On Day 2, I was discharged and we went home. I don’t know whether its because I was induced to get into labour or what, but I didn’t look like I gave birth. In fact, I look like 7 months pregnant. My tummy was still intact, I felt like they left another baby in there. During the night, Sara is beginning to show signs of jaundice, which I feared but I was determined to give her exclusive breastfeeding. Even though my nipples are cracked and bleeding, I let her clung to it and boy…my baby sure takes her time feeding. She can go as long as 1 hour per breast. And I actually fell asleep and dreamt about everything nipple-related. In short, breastfeeding for me is not easy. Everytime she feeds, I feel like Hayden Christensen in Awake (where the surgeon cuts him open while he was awake).

Day 3, Sara begins to develop a fever. Her body feels warm and her eyes and skin turned yellow. Me and my mum was worried to death. Worse of all, my breast suddenly refuse to produce anymore milk. I’ve tried every remedy but none of it works. We didn’t even have any formula at home since I am determined to breastfeed her exclusively for at least six months. During the night, Sara cried a lot. My mum was the one holding her as I am not strong enough. My mum had to feed her plain water to get through the night. When morning came, my hubby went out and bought formula milk. I was so frustrated at the time because I couldn’t feed my own child.

Day 4, my mum brought Sara to the clinic and we discovered that she has jaundice and were almost admitted to the ward. When she came back home, I was once again determined and willing to sacrifice my sore nipple to give her breastfeeding. After 2 days, we brought her back to the clinic, and her jaundice reading dropped so much to the doctor’s surprise. I also went for my check-up and even the nurse was shocked to see the state of my sore and cracked nipple and advised me to stop feeding for a while.

During the following days, it was always a struggle for me and Sara during breastfeeding. After some hard thinking, I decided to let go and stop breastfeeding. It was the hardest decision ever. But, I couldn't even wear proper shirt, and worse of all, I couldn't even hug my own child. So, I quit breastfeeding, and she was one happy baby because she doesn't have to try so hard to feed and finally I can hug my baby to sleep.

Sara's favourite position to sleep

Sara : The delivery

Hi everyone! On 11^th January 2009, I became the proud mother of Adlyna Qaisara (Sara). I use to hate those parents who swear that their offspring is the cutest and most gorgeous baby but my Sara IS the cutest and the most gorgeous baby girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. Seriously. Heh.

Anyway, I was admitted to the hospital on 8^th of January 2009. My precious Sara was supposed to be born by end of December but for some reason, she found it too comfortable to leave Mommy’s tummy. After two induces, my contraction is still too far apart and wasn’t strong enough. On 10^th January 2009, the doctor decided that Sara is taking too long and decided to break my waterbag. It sounded quite scary and gruesome but to tell you the truth, it doesn’t feel a thing. I don’t know whether it’s because I have a high tolerance towards pain or it really doesn’t hurt but even the doctors commented that it is sort of weird that I didn’t scream or even whimper during the procedure.

At 4.30pm, I was transferred to the labor room. Mind you, I didn’t feel any pain or any contraction during the time. I was then strapped into a machine to monitor my contraction and Sara’s heartbeat. I was given another induce through IV drip and a gas mask containing some sort of painkiller to be taken if I feel the pain becomes too unbearable. A male doctor came (and apparently he’s the specialist for the day) and check my opening (2cm) and gave me 4 hours to try and deliver the baby normally. If by 4 hours, my opening does not exceed 8cm, he’ll perform caesarian to get the baby out. I have nothing against the procedure, but I have always wanted to deliver my first baby normally. I wanted to feel all the pain and be able to tell and brag about it afterwards. Heh.

At four hours (and with the help of a female doctor and a nurse who understands my need to deliver this baby normally), my opening was only 7cm. Luckily, since the baby’s heartbeat is still okay, the male doctor decided to give me another 2 hours. I’m sure many of you will think that I am in agonizing pain but really I’m not in such a pain at all. I only took two inhale of the gas mask they provided. Even the nurse asks me to take the gas more frequently but like I told you, I don’t feel the excruciating pain. Yet. At 12.45am, I started to feel stronger contraction and took the gas once.

At 1.00am, the nurse went in and woke me from my pain-induced slumber and asked me to push. I was like “What?! Push? Now?” My darling husband who was right beside me from 4.30pm was also shocked. Shortly afterwards, the doctors came and yelling ensues. Heh. Not from me, mind you. All the doctors (I lost count after 5 doctors and nurses came in and out of the room) were yelling to me on top of their lungs instructing me to push and whatnot. The PROBLEM is, I AM NOT FEELING ANY CONTRACTION. My contraction only occurs once every ten minutes. How am I supposed to push when I am not feeling any contraction? Huh? It’s like forcing yourself to crap when you don’t feel like crapping. Heh.

My beloved parents, sisters and in-laws who were outside the labor room since 4.30pm who were also exhausted and worried as they can hear all the yelling from inside the labor room. My mom was reduced to tears and we had everybody worried. At 1.25 am, the baby’s heartbeat weakens, and the doctor decided to use the vacuum. I wasn’t afraid for me, I was more worried about the baby and agreed with whatever they are about to do, as long as the baby is safe. My husband was asked to leave the room. I heard snips of scissors. I feel a strong contraction coming, I pushed with all my might (of course the vacuum helped) and with two pushes, Sara popped out of me at exactly 1.31 am. She didn’t cry due to lack of oxygen so I only got a glimpse of her then the doctor took her away to give her oxygen. So there I was, all alone with no baby and husband to endure the pain of stitches. The doctor certainly took her time stitching me up as I was not yet finished by 2.00 am.

Here, I lost track of time. I remembered my husband telling me that the baby is okay and it’s a girl (we know beforehand that it’s a girl so it doesn’t surprise me). At the time, I drifted in and out of sleep dreaming bloody dreams of hands in my uterus. Heh. I really needed to see the baby to help me forget the trauma I just experienced. At 4.30 am, a nurse came and brought to me my precious baby. And you know all the things people say about how you forget the pain of giving birth melts away once you see your baby? Well, I’m happy to report that it’s true. Seeing the tiny little face with the cute tiny little hands reaching out to you is like magic. Sara weighs a whopping 3.66kg and 51cm in length.

Upon seeing her, me and hubby was like, Wow! She's really cute. Not because she's our child, but SHE IS REALLY CUTE. Heh. So there you have it, the story of how my precious Sara was born into the world . And to prove that she really is the cutest baby in the world, take a look at this pic. Hihi. (And if you don't think she's cute, go have your eyes checked but please, just agree with me that she's cute. Humor me. Heh.)